Children... The enemy?

I read an article the other day which had some interesting thoughts. I thought I'd share... what do you think

...In the beginning of the womens movement many battles were fought and won worldwide as women pursued the right to vote as equal citizens. After women claimed the victory to vote, the womens movement turned to fight for other causes. Until the mid twentieth century women were expected by society to work primarily in the home...

...the real devastating war began when women realised they would never be able to attain equality with men until they were granted reproductive freedom. Birth control became popular and finally women were able to have some control over reproduction... the sexual revolution ensued... children became the enemy in the fight for womens rights...

...Feminists proclaimed that its the children who ultimately keep women from experiencing true independence. To become a mother is to become a slave, forfeiting ones work, education, career, wealth and recognition for the sake of raising children... children, likened to parasites, as they leach the life out of women and prevent women from embracing any dream that lies beyond the front door. All along it was motherhood that kept women from experiencing true equality...

...Unborn children were the easiest enemies to eliminate, and every legal abortion became a victory in the march for womens rights... every empty home and empty womb became a tribute to feminism... But it is her own unborn child who sheds his blood for the freedom of the mother that he will never know. Is it not wretched that children die so women may advance in freedom? And women continue to fight to keep abortion on demand legal... Is this war truly worthy of the innocent blood of unborn children? How have women come to see their own babies as evil tyrants deserving of death?

Sarah Brown
published in "Above Rubies" issue seventy

10 weeks today

well this is my first post in two weeks and the reason why? I am absolutely knackered...

My house is a wreck. The dishes get when Reuben does them which bless his heart he has been doing fairly regularly (oh how i wish we had a dishwasher). We get dressed after selecting clothes from the numerous baskets of clean clothes that have been washed and dried but not yet folded and put away. Toys lay scattered from one end to the other and our blue carpet which is absolutely terrible for showing up crumbs and debris is in desperate need for a vaccum. The dining table is covered with mail and other "stuff" including Reubens PC. This is because his office is currently filled with bunk beds and mattresses for the girls (in preparation for our expanding family) and a whole lot of books/games which I have to put on Trade Me - when I get around to it... And then there is the other stuff that should be getting my attention (sigh)...

This pregnancy feels different to the girls. The differences? My sense of smell is heightened this time, the exhaustion is greater (maybe because of the girls?), no constipation this time (you all wanted to know that didn't you), nausea again but this time without vomiting (touch wood), no sweet cravings, in fact overall no junk food cravings - aside from sausage rolls last week. My favourite food at the moment is nectarines - they go down easy and keep the nausea at bay.

And what sex do I think the baby is? From before the pregnancy was confirmed I had a sense that I was carrying a boy. I had an incredibly vivid dream two nights ago where I gave birth in a specific place and met our baby. It was so vivid I can remember details of the labour and everything. The baby had black hair (a little more and a little longer than what the girls had at birth), a face very similar to Isabellas, and a robust chubby little body. After I had taken in all this in my dream I thought to see what sex the baby was - and sure enough, a little boy. It all makes me so much more tempted to find out at the 20wk scan what we are having.

And what is the baby doing at the moment?
Two weeks ago:

• baby is wriggling and dancing already although I can't feel it yet
• most joints are now formed
• Coco can curl his fingers around things - like a nose, an ear or other fingers
• finger prints are already evident
• 2.3cm long, weight 2gms

over the last week (the 10th week)

• the most critical period of growth is complete - now Coco is headed into a period of rapid growth
• Coco's head is about half his length, soon the body will catch up, but for the moment the head is making room for rapid brain development
• Eyelids fuse shut and irises begin to develop
• placenta begins to function this week or next - provides nutrients and removes waste to keep Coco growing strong
• about 3.1cm long and now weighing 4gms - that's double the weight in one week!

this coming week

• nearly all structures and organs will be formed and beginning to function
• Coco's fingers and toes will have separated. Check out this photo of an 11wk old baby's toes...
• hair and nails begin to grow
• genitals begin to take on the proper gender characteristics
  
• amniotic fluid begins to accumulate as the kidneys begin to function
• muscles in the intestinal wall begin to practice contractions that contract food
• by the end of this week Coco will be about 4.1cms long and weigh approx 7gms

Such amazing growth in just two months since conception...

And my final word for today? lock up your medications so little fingers can't get a hold of them. Last sunday we spent 24hrs at Kidzfirst (the childrens section of Middlemore hospital) for observation and a whole raft of tests after Isabella had some "treats" - aka Grandma's medication. A scary experience but thankfully no adverse long term effects. But like I needed something else to drain my energy!

So time to put the kids down for a nap so mum and dad can have one as well! hopefully anyway...

8 Weeks pregnant...

Cartilage and bones begin to form - At the end of this week your baby will have already completed 1/5th of the journey 'til his birthday!
The basic structure of the eye is well underway - The position is more "newborn" like already!
The tongue begins to develop
Intestines move out of the umbilical cord into the abdomen.
Body grows and makes room - Two months along and this little one is growing inside and out by leaps and bounds!
The fingers and toes have appeared but are webbed and short
Baby's length (crown to rump) is 0.61 inch (1.6cm) and weight is 0.04 ounce (1gm)

Baby no. three

So for those of you visiting here, you are now privy to the shortest and worst kept secret (that's if you didn't know already). Reuben and I are thrilled to announce to the cyber space world that the 3rd Dunn bub is on the way. Due September 9th 2007, that makes me 7wks today (entering the 8th week of pregnancy). This baby has an official "womb name" - Coco, thanks to big sister Isabella. A few people have guessed or wondered at least if I was hapu as my tummy is so bloated and sticking out there already!

One week ago this is what my post would have read had I posted...
Your baby is now approximately the size of an olive or 1.8cm long, with half of that being the head. The cerebral hemispheres of the brain are now forming, as are the left and right chambers of the heart. Eyelids are now visible and there are holes where the nostrils will be. Limbs are lengthening and hands are starting to form.
Compare that to the week before when Coco was only 2mm long. Thats the size of a pin head to a baked bean in 1 week! Crazy!

This week the pregnancy tracker that I have subscribed to tells me that entering the eighth week...
Your baby now has the beginnings of all its internal organs. Its facial features are becoming more defined with ears, eyes and the tip of the nose beginning to form. Its limbs are taking greater form, with the beginnings of knee and elbow joints and the start of feet with tiny notches that will become toes.

Its just amazing how they grow and change so quickly. I would love to be able to get Coco out to have a look and then pop him (or her) back in...

by the way, all this pictures are of a 7wk old baby... amazing! Coco's little heart has now been beating for 2wks

so remember - its a secret!

babes n bellies

With Isabella & Hannah, we found out we were expecting them when I was approx 5 weeks pregnant. Becuase of the way pregnancy weeks are counted, this means that they were about 3 weeks old.

So have you ever wondered what a baby is up to at just 3 wks after it has been concieved? Let me enlighten you...

Baby is about 2mm now, but developing major body parts rapidly.Your baby now has a heartbeat and, although its heart is only a single tube, each beat is beginning to circulate newly formed bloodcells. The head has begun to form and inside it, are the beginnings of a brain. Tiny buds that will grow into limbs have appeared, the jaw and mouth are forming and 10 dental buds are appearing.

So when many women don't even know there is a babe in their bellies, it has a little beating heart and the beginnings of arms and legs... crazy! and still only the size of a pin head...

eating the apple & epidurals

So... I had part of a conversation a couple of days ago and would love to know what you think...

It went like this..

OTHER: "did you know epidurals take away all the pain so giving birth doesn't hurt"

ME: "yeah, but the pain has a purpose"

OTHER: "whatever, the pain is because adam and eve ate the apple"

the conversation continued with me giving my opinion of why I don't like epidurals as a standard form of pain relief. (don't do a knee jerk - I realise sometimes they are necessary...)

God intended birth to be pain free, (or at least different to how we experience it) but as a result of the fall, it is not. Therefore, is having an epidural (and therefore reduced labour pains, simply experiencing birth as God intended???

theres a thought...

Lets get excited

A special friend of mine is due to have her baby on my birthday. There is something extra special for me about this awaited delivery, as she has asked me to be her 2nd support person as she labours and gives birth - something I am really looking forward to doing. We hung out yesterday and she showed me the babies room and we chatted about the final things she needed to buy and then went shopping at baby factory.

There seems to be something really special about 1st babies. Its the first for the mum and dad, and the first junior for friends and family to enjoy. We found people came out of the woodwork and showered us with gifts and well wishes before and after Isabella was born. Some people we recieved cards and gifts from I hadn't even met. Seemed kind of strange at the time. Lovely all the same.

When Hannah came along there were still well wishes and lovely gifts, but a noticeable difference from baby no. 1's arrival. Having only 17mths gap between them also brought varied comments. Not such the jubilant celebration as when we announced Isabellas imminent arrival. There were a few kind of rude comments actually... Having only a 17mth gap is apparently not a good decision according to some.

Another of my friends whose two children are the same age as Isabella & Hannah, is expecting her third. She will for a few weeks have 3 under 3. This gets me to the point of the post.

She is almost out of her 1st trimester, and has not told many people that she is expecting. This isn't because she is trying to keep it a secret. Its actually because she is avoiding the awful, hurtful comments that seem to flow from many friends and family when they hear the news. Their issue? In their opinion 3 kids is too many... the gap is too close... its going to be too difficult.

In truth it took her a few days to get used to the idea. She is finding it hard going being pregnant and having two littlies to care for - I don't imagine it will get alot easier in the short term either. The point is though, this is a new life, a perhaps unexpected yet now welcomed addition to their family. Why should she feel ashamed to tell people about being pregnant? She's not asking for anyone else to step in and look after her kids for her.

I guess I just relate cause I can imagine the comments that would come if I were walking in her shoes. So what am I trying to say?

• Every baby is special regardless of whether its a 1st, 2nd, 3rd, 4th...
• Why not celebrate news of an expected baby and therefore be offering support to the parents to be.
  
• hold back on the judgemental comments.

Thats really it I think - We are not expecting baby no.3 (as far as we are aware!). But when we are we will look forward to it, so please, be excited for us, as I am for both of my friends above...

the wonderful sacrum...

I started this post as a comment to Franks blog and then decided just to post it on my own blog as it was getting a little lengthy... Being a physio who has worked with clients who are pregnant and having taught part of antenatal classes i just couldn't help myself... sorry.

So I'd love to know exactly what Franks childbirth educator said about the wonderful sacrum.

Here goes the anatomy lesson. The spine is divided into different sections - Cervical (basically the neck), Thoracic (ribs attach to these 12 vertebrae), Lumbar (low back), Sacrum (base of the spine) and coccyx (tailbone). The Sacrum attaches on each side to the ilium, or pelvis. You can work out where this is by checking for the two dimples at the top of your butt.These two joints are called your sacroiliac joints (SIJ). The pelvis joins again at the front which is called the pubic symphysis joint. These three joints are pretty much the strongest joints in your body - have to be really!

As far as I'm aware, it is actually the coccyx (tailbone) that does most of the flexing and moving during birth. So by adopting different positions (I can hear Frank giggling ;o) the baby passes through the pelvis more easily. The SI Joints and pubic symphysis joints are softened during pregnancy by the hormone relaxin. This allows for the pelvis itself to stretch and give a little to assist with allowing the babies head through the pelvic outlet. So although the sacrum is a big part of all of this, it isn't the main event (so to speak).

As a side issue, my main personal pregnancy issue with Isabella & Hannah has been as a result of those softened pelvic joints. Dysfunction with these joints can cause lots of pain with walking, rolling in bed, getting up out of chairs, wallking up stairs etc etc... and it can take a while to come right. I still can't go for a short run without suffering the consequences afterwards... thats 10mths later...

biting more than we can chew

I have been processing this post internally for the past few weeks. I have a few different angles and maybe this will have to be a few posts in the end.

When Hannah was a newborn (shes now 10mths) and Isabella 17mths, my mum made a somewhat passing comment comparing mothers today and mothers back in the day when she was getting amongst with nappies and such. It was along the lines of how being at home and being a fulltime mum (to babies/toddlers) was considered a fulltime job - hence they didn't take on extra commitments and responsibilities outside of that.

Now the comment was made in a supportive and concerned way. She was suggesting the reason I was feeling completely overwhelmed was because she I was attempting to bite way to much more than I could chew. Of course I was quite disagreeable to this idea that I was overdoing things... however I have been mulling over this comment ever since.

I sense there is an expectation now that we can do it all. We get to the point in our lives when we start to have babies and think nothing else has to give. Sure, we give ourselves a mandatory 12 wk period off when baby arrives - from work or ministry, and then relaunch ourselves. Some go back to work, sometimes finances forcing their hand, juggling childcare and a career; others stay at home, taking on the fulltime childcare and household responsibility - a job we never "go home" from.

And I have to say it - it is probably those of us who have been highly motivated, high achievers, highly involved that have the most pressure to get back to it. And the pressure is mostly internal I think.

I think society has changed dramatically over the past 30yrs. Our lives are more complex and busy. As great as the feminist movement has been in some areas, it has made things really suck for women in other areas. Sure, we should expect to face internal questions about our changing role as we face motherhood, but why should we feel guilty, lazy or less significant when we contemplate letting go of some of the other stuff we do.

I've discovered I am not superwoman, although I suspect I will keep trying to be... I suspect my mum is right - some of us have ridiculous expectations of ourselves. We are trying to do too much - and we're paying the price... more on that later...