Sunday, November 03, 2013

the numbers

ok, so numbers usually freak women out. sharing them that is. the numbers that relate to weight are the numbers I am referring to to be exact. I have thought about whether I should share my numbers here. its scary. if I share the numbers I KNOW that someone out there will be comparing their numbers, to my numbers and then making a judgment about me, or a judgment about themselves. comparisons only cause us to feel smugly better about ourselves at the expense of someone else OR they make us feel negative about ourselves. as if knowing someone elses numbers sheds light on our situation...

I have decided to share my numbers. not so you can compare your numbers to my numbers OR so you can make any form of judgment on me. I will do it to create a record. so the story becomes more complete. my numbers don't change who I am. they don't define me, but they do help to shape the story.

My first number is 187. I am 187cm tall. that equates to approx. 6ft 2.
in my late teens/early 20s when I was playing a lot of competitive sport at rep level my weight was 78kg. fast forward to my mid 20s and early marriage. weight went up to 90kgs (put that down to contentment) and then back to a comfortable 83kgs.

over four pregnancies my weight went up and down. my heaviest was when pregnant with Isaiah - hit 110kgs, and in between pregnancies the lowest it returned to was 85kgs.

and now at the beginning of this SSUC, my weight: 89.9kg that puts my BMI at 25.7. that's just outside the healthy range of 20-25.

so that's the numbers. im not sure which is scarier. numbers or those ugly truth initial pics I posted last night. but im not interested in pretending to be someone im not. I just want to tell the story and hopefully take some pride in setting a goal, making a plan and staying the course.


2 comments:

Susan Dominikovich said...

"my numbers don't change who I am. they don't define me, but they do help to shape the story." I love this. Very true. The numbers can help us, not shame us.

Vania said...

that's the goal anyway. As much as anyone I need reminding of that. Especially on the hard days x